It seems that I am in a constant state of weariness these days. Because I work several jobs, I hardly have time to sleep, but I am not unaccustomed to this type of hard labor. I have been a parlor maid since age fourteen and I will continually persist in working hard. I am constantly driven by one thing -- a ticket to China! My savings are meager, but I gain satisfaction simply by knowing that I am making some kind of effort toward my goal.
The other day, I went to the ticket office and discovered that the cheapest way to China is by railway through Europe, Russia, and Siberia. It was difficult to persuade the booking clerk that I was not joking with him, that I did indeed mean to go to China. However, in the end he allowed me to put a down payment on my ticket. The total will be 47.10 pounds.
It is so easy to be discouraged these days. Every so often, the feelings from my childhood return and I wish that I were someone else. I remember being so dissatisfied with my dark hair and short stature. I was so envious of my friends' beautiful golden locks. Thankfully, I have grown out of the petty little vanities that young children often undergo, however the thought persists that perhaps if I were taller and looked more sturdy, the mission board would accept my application. I know it is a ridiculous idea, but I can't help but think of it every so often. Moreover, there is nothing I can gain by wishing I was someone different than I am.
Little can be done now besides save my earnings and wait...
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